The Road Back to Love
by buffyfaith19
Summary: Takes place after season 6. Faith is back in Buffy's life. The two of them have to fight demons as well as their own personal issues to get to where they both want to be.


Title:The Road Back to Love. 

Author: buffyfaith19 

Summary:Takes place after season 6. Faith is back in Buffy's life. The two of them have to fight demons as well as their own personal issues to get to where they both want to be. 

Feedback: Always welcome and greatly appreciated. 

buffyfaith19@yahoo.com 

Rating:R 

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns the characters and no copyright infringement is intended. This is for fun and enjoyment only. 

Part One. 

It has been a very long, very dark year and finally things were slowly getting back to normal again for everyone. 

Willow was still devastated by Tara's death, but she was coping as best she could. 

Xander and Anya were on speaking terms, but nowhere closer to any type of reconciliation. 

Giles was back home and Spike was still missing in action. 

  
Dawn and I were spending the summer doing everything we could think of. From the simple things like just watching a movie and eating popcorn together, to shopping for clothes for her senior year in high school to teaching her how to drive, while she pestered me to begin teaching her some slayer fighting skills so she could go on patrols with me, but I was avoiding that for as long as I could. 

We had spent most of the summer just having alot of fun and laughing every chance we could. 

  
I was sitting at home reading a book and relaxing when the phone rang. I got up and answered it and was surprised to here Cordy on the other end, "Buffy? Is that you?" 

  
"Yes. Hi Cordelia. How are things..." I didn't get my sentence finished before she had interrupted me. 

  
"Listen. All hell is breaking loose here and I need you to do a huge favor for Angel." 

  
"Angel? Is something wrong?" 

  
"I don't know. He's missing. His son came....." 

  
"What? Son?" 

  
"It's a long story. I'll tell you all about it later. I promise. Faith is in danger. Serious danger. Wolfram & Hart have decided to take her out for not following through on her contract to kill Angel last year." 

  
"And this affects me how?" I asked, not showing any interest at all in Faith's problems. 

  
"Buffy!" she yelled, "This is serious. Angel has been in touch with Faith every week since she turned herself in and can't stop talking about the progress she's been making. I know she is not your favorite person, but I don't know what else to do. Please, would you come to LA and take Faith back with you and protect her until we find Angel?" 

  
"This is just great. Fine. I'll do it. But, the moment you find Angel, you have him get his butt back to Sunnydale and take her off my hands." 

  
"Sure. I will. Thanks so much. Come as soon as you can. Faith is staying with me for now, but she won't be safe for long." 

  
"I'll be there soon Cordy." 

  
"Thanks. See ya soon Buffy." 

  
And with that my summer took a very different turn. 

  
I packed a small bag and caught the first flight out and then rented a car and was at Cordy's the next day and was surprised when Faith answered the door. 

  
"I wasn't expecting anyone. Cordy didn't tell me you were coming. Why are you here B?" 

  
"Believe it or not I'm here to protect your ass." 

  
"Thanks, but I don't really need any." she snapped then went back to watching TV. 

  
"That's not what I was told. Angel is missing and that means I'm next in line to take care of you." 

  
"Listen B. Perhaps you have forgotten, but I'm still a slayer. I can take care of myself." 

  
"Yeah Faith. Always putting on the tough girl act." 

  
"It's not an act. I always knew those lawyer freaks would want some revenge on me for not fulfilling my part of the deal. I'm more than capable of taking care of it. So you can take your pretty blonde hair back to Sunnydale." 

  
"And to think Angel told me how much progress you were making in learning when to take someone's help when they offer it to you." 

  
"Look B, I appreciate that you would even think of doing this for me after how things ended between us, but I don't want you getting killed protecting me. That's the last thing I want." 

  
"Wow, I almost believed you were sincere there. But, I don't plan on dying anytime soon. Certainly not while saving your hide." 

  
"Fine." Faith said sharply then turned around, "Alright then, what's your plan then?" 

  
"I think the best place for us is back in Sunnydale. On familiar ground. We know the area and these lawyers don't. So, I have a ticket for you right here, so if your packed we can get going." 

  
"I don't have much. I have a bag in the spare room here. I'll be right out." 

  
And she walked away and turned down the hallway and I still couldn't sense if she had really changed or was just playing me. For now I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

  
She returned a couple minutes later with a small bag and said she was ready to go. 

  
We took my car and headed on our way back to Sunnydale. 

  
The first 15 minutes of the trip neither of us said a word. Faith leaned over and turned on the radio and I reached over and turned it off and told her we needed to stay focused and she rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes and I thought for sure I would have some peace and quiet for a couple hours, but I knew that was too good to be true. 

"So, do you want to talk about it?" she asked, her eyes remaining shut the whole time. 

  
"No. I don't want to talk about anything. I'm here to do a job. And that's it." at least that's what I kept telling myself. 

  
"That's so mature B. Still hiding from anything that might be a bit uncomfortable." 

  
I almost forgot how infuriating she could be, "Don't you talk to me about hiding. You are the master. You spent one whole year hiding from your past and running from all your inner demons and then when someone gets close to you and tries to be your friend, what do you do? Bail. Of course then you have to go all psycho and ruin the lives of everyone who cared about you in the process." 

  
"Wow, for someone who didn't want to talk you sure have alot to say." Faith opened her eyes and looked right at me and turned in her seat so she could face me, took a drink of her water and continued, "Now, let me at least have my say." 

  
"You don't get a say Faith. There is nothing to talk about. I know what you did. You can't change it. You can't pretend it didn't happen. You ruined our friendship." 

  
"Fine. I am not denying that. I screwed up. I made a ton of mistakes. I will not make excuses for my actions. I just want to say I'm sorry. I know you don't want to hear this and I even understand, but I do feel horrible for everything I did to you and your family and yes, even Angel." 

  
She seemed so sincere. I could hear her voice crack the moment she said she was sorry. I was not ready to forgive her that fast, but I found that all this hate and anger I was holding inside me the last couple of years was finally ready to be released. 

  
She was fidgeting in her seat not sure if she should say anything else, but that didn't last long, "I know that I didn't handle our friendship very well and I hate to even get into why that is because it will sound like an excuse and I don't mean it like that. Please believe me when I say I have never had a friend like you in all my life. Never. I loved the time we spent together three years ago. I have thought about it almost daily since I, well, since I left." 

  
"Why Faith. Why did you shut down after the accident? Don't you understand that I wanted to help you. God. I would've done anything for you then. I knew it just as easily could have been me who made that mistake. I just wish you would have trusted me." 

  
"I know. I know. Okay. If I could do it all over again I would have told you everything I was feeling that night you came to my room. I so wanted to. I just froze. I didn't want to deal with it. I wanted to be strong. Like you. I felt so alone then. So weak. I didn't want to be afraid so I chose not feel anything. It was just easier. And I know that's no excuse for anything I did after, but that moment was the turning point for me. I know if I had just let you help me I would still be slaying demons with you and who knows what else." 

  
Listening to her tell me her side was something I really hadn't given any thought to in three years. I just knew she was wrong. She hurt me. She hurt my friends and family and I wanted her to pay. 

  
But now, things seem alot less black and white than before. And I hate that. I had never seen Faith this emotional before. She was almost in tears and it actually made me feel sorry for her. I wanted to hug her but I couldn't. I just couldn't right now. 

  
She kept holding her water bottle like it was her safety net and finally sat it down and looked back at me, "There were times when I would lie in my bed in prison and think about the good times we had and the bond we shared as slayers and it's the one thing that I used to make it through some of the very long days and nights in that place." 

  
Faith took another drink of water and was looking out her window and I could see tears slowly falling down her cheek and it was really not something I was prepared for. Less than an hour into this trip and I was all but ready to just forgive her and take her back as a friend. But, it's just not that simple. There has to be more than just words this time. 

  
She was looking in the mirror and then turned her head around and was looking out the back window of the car and then she looked at me with a look of fear and said, "Step on it B. Were being followed." 

  
I took a quick look out the back window and saw a very fancy black Mercedes with tinted windows all around it gaining fast on us. 

I pushed my foot on the gas and we were soon at well over a 100 MPH. Luckily we were on a very long three lane highway with light traffic, because I knew this could get ugly fast. 

We were coming up to a small little truck stop and behind it was alot of trees, mountains and just alot of very dry terrain. I figured we had a better chance off the main highway since this little Honda was small and easy to maneuver in the off road conditions than that fancy machine that was following us. 

  
I turned into the gas station part and then pulled around the side and waited for it to come around the back. 

  
I told Faith to buckle up and as they pulled around the corner I stepped on the gas, sending out car flying into the front end of the Mercedes and it began spinning and spinning and spinning and I just took off into the area behind us and kept an eye out for the car. I could tell it had stalled or was even more damaged than that, but I didn't care I just started driving and the car was soon a blur and we were out of danger for the moment at least. 

It was still a very hot afternoon and the heat was really taking a toll on the car as we had no time to stop and give the engine a rest and as luck would have it the engine began to over heat forcing us to take a quick pit stop. 

I pulled the car over near a small group of trees and Faith and I got out and stretched our legs for a few minutes. She walked over to a small pond beside the tree and sat down and took off her shoes and socks and put her feet in the water and I watched as a smile came across her face and I actually smiled with her, but as she turned to look at me I quickly turned away and walked over to the car so she couldn't see me smiling. 

Sure, it was a bit childish but there was no way I was going to make this easier for Faith. I've spent my life trusting in what people tell me and words just aren't enough anymore. She is going to have to show me she's changed. Not just pay lip service to it. 

  
It was hard to look away for long though, since Faith was making so much noise letting me know just how great that water felt and I could not help but be drawn to her even to this day, even after all she had done. 

  
One day I would figure out why that was. I kept telling myself it was because we were slayers. She was the one person who knew what I went through. She could read me better than anyone I knew, even if I never let on she was right half the time. 

  
As I stood in the smoldering heat watching Faith stretch back and smile as she splashed some more water on her legs and her arms and neck I found I couldn't take my eyes off. I was still mesmerized by her and that scared me alot. 

  
She looked back at me and smiled again and her smile was so warm and playful and I couldn't help but smile back this time and the way her eyes lit up when I did was so good to see. 

  
"Come on over B. I know you want to. Don't let spite keep you from enjoying this beautiful little spring water." 

  
"Don't flatter yourself Faith. I can handle the heat a bit better than you I guess." I was trying to keep a straight face since that was so not the truth. 

  
"Sure. Sure you can B. That's why your sweating bullets and have been eyeing this little puddle so intently." she said it with so much confidence, like she knew how to read me even after all these years. 

I did my best to shoot her down though, "As a matter of fact I was just making sure you weren't going to up and take off again." 

  
Faith laughed so spontaneously that I couldn't keep a straight face and had to turn around again and laugh a little myself. I really do love how she laughs. And how did she know when I wasn't telling the truth all the time. Sometimes I found it hard to remember the good times we had for fear of forgetting all the pain she caused me, but there was no doubting that Faith and I had more good times than I can remember before that fateful night changed it all forever. 

  
"Come on. Just soak your feet a little. I'll leave if it makes you feel any better." 

  
I walked over to where she was standing and she looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back, for a moment letting my guard down and then sat down next to her and pulled off my shoes and socks and let my feet slip into the cool water and let out a pleasing sigh as the cool water felt so good on my feet. 

  
"Feels good doesn't it?"  
"Yes, it feels incredible." 

  
Faith lie down beside me and I lay back as well and we stared up into the clear blue sky and sat there for a good 15 minutes before the sound of a car's engine made us both sit up and look behind us. 

  
And neither of us was surprised to see that same black Mercedes coming up the road at a super high speed and we grabbed our socks and shoes and ran back to the car and within seconds we were off again. 

We still had no idea who was in the car that was following us but we knew we didn't have time to find out either. 

This chase continued for another 45 minutes until we came across some very nasty terrain and there was no way we could turn around with that car on our heels so we had to make a choice and make it fast. 

Since Faith was involved in this to I asked her what she thought we should do and she looked around outside and looked back at me and said, "I think our best bet is to go on foot from here. No way they can keep up with the two of us. And I'll take our chances if they do." 

  
"Okay. Let's take this car to the edge of the cliff and if we do this right we might even get them to believe we went overboard with it." 

  
I drove over the very rocky terrain and made a quick turn along side of this very high ridge and tried to pull far enough ahead so they couldn't see us and we saw some tree's up ahead and drove towards them and when we reached them, we got out and I put a large rock on the gas pedal and we shut the doors and watched it fly over the cliff and we took off to the north and took cover behind a small mountain range as the car exploded as it hit the bottom and the other car drove towards the edge of the cliff and two men, or I think they were men, got out and looked over the cliff and then looked back at each other and then started looking around. 

  
That wasn't good to see. 

  
They got back in the car and started driving towards us and Faith and I just took off running and kept going until we stumbled across a deserted shack in the middle of this gigantic forest. 

  
Cautiously we opened the door and called out to anyone who might be around, but there was no answer so we walked inside and found a surprisingly modern little one bedroom house. 

  
There was a TV on the wall, a bed in the corner, a sink, a microwave and even a bathroom with a shower in it. All in one room. 

  
Whatever this was and whoever this belonged to would not be gone for long. 

  
We took another look outside and saw no sign of the car or the two men who were inside and so we locked the door of this little room and took advantage of the situation as best we could. 

  
There wasn't much in the line of food or drink to be found, but Faith had brought some water and that's about all we had to eat or drink that whole day. 

  
Once things had calmed down a bit, Faith and I sat down on the bed and she turned on the TV and we watched some TV and really didn't say alot until it was time to get some sleep. 

  
"Buffy. I know this isn't what you had planned for your summer and I know I'm the last person in the world you want to be spending time with, but..." 

  
"You don't have to say anything Faith. It's what I do. I'm helping you as a favor to Angel. That's all." if I said it enough I might start believe it to. 

  
"Right. As a favor. Well, thanks anyway." she said, her voice trailing off as she finished her sentence and again I felt bad for her and I didn't know why. I was doing this for Angel. Not her. 

"I'm sorry Faith, but I don't want you getting the wrong idea here." 

  
"What idea would that be?" 

  
"That were friends again. That I'm over what you did. Because I'm not." 

  
"Listen B, I never said you were. I'm just honestly happy that your helping me out. I am not asking for your forgiveness. I am not delusional about any chance we have to go back to how things were. I just...I feel good knowing your here is all. Okay. Now goodnight." 

  
There were so many things I wanted to say to her right then, but she went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her and all's I was left with was conflicting emotions about all this. 

  
All the anger I have been feeling for all this time just wasn't as strong anymore. Yet I felt guilty for feeling sorry for Faith at all. I feel like I'm betraying my friends because I can't help but still have such strong feeling for this girl who did so much damage to my life. 

  
Why can't it be simple. I want to be cold and unfeeling towards her. I want her to not matter. I want to do this job and get back to my life again. Back to Dawn. To Willow. To see Xander and Anya again. Yet what I am thinking about most of all is Faith. Still Faith. She brings out so many emotions in me. So many good ones and yet so many bad ones to. 

  
Oh but I feel when I'm around her. I feel alive. 

Part Two 

  
Faith walked out of the bathroom wearing a little night shirt and still had a sad look on her face and she walked silently over to the bed and climbed under the covers and turned away from me and curled up like she always did and got ready to get some sleep. 

  
I actually felt hurt as she ignored me and then thought how strange that was since I had pretty much told her that's what I wanted. I had no time to figure this out and went into the bathroom and washed up and then walked back out and saw Faith lying on her back looking up at the ceiling and she looked so peaceful. So sweet. Almost innocent looking as she seemed so lost in whatever she was thinking. 

  
As I climbed into bed I felt her turn around again and I wanted to say something to her. Reach out and show her I wasn't this cold. Tell her everything I was feeling, but I couldn't.. 

  
I lie there on my back and I could feel the heat from Faith's body all the way over on my side of the bed and in some way it felt good to know she was there and yet in other ways I found it very distracting and confusing at how much I enjoyed her company in any shape or form. 

  
I tried to curl up and get some sleep but I couldn't. I was still so wound up. And it wasn't from the car chase either. Nope, it was Faith. It's always Faith. 

  
I'm not sure when I fell asleep but I was happy I did and when I woke up and looked beside me Faith was gone. 

I jumped out of bed and ran outside and started looking around and was not sure what to think when Faith yelled out at me from the house, "What are you doing B? You really should get some clothes on before you go running around like that you know." 

I looked down and saw I was still in my underwear and even though there was nobody around it suddenly became a bit embarrassing and so I walked slowly back towards the little hut and squeezed past Faith in the doorway and went into the bathroom and put on my jeans and t-shirt again. 

  
When I came back out Faith was sitting on the bed still in her nightshirt, flipping through the channels on the TV, but nothing was coming in. The picture was gone. 

  
I took this to be a bad sign. And so did she. 

  
She grabbed her bag and I grabbed mine and we headed back out before someone found us. 

  
It was early in the morning, still not even 9 AM and the sun wasn't nearly as hot and it was much better for walking. 

  
The only problem is we had no idea where we were. Somewhere between LA and Sunnydale. But past that, we were lost. 

Everything looked the same. Just trees, dirt, grass, sand, hills, but not actual roads. No sign of life. No big city smog. No lights. No airplanes overhead. No nothing. It was eerily quiet and at times it felt like we were going in circles. 

  
We walked and walked and walked. We even tried running to see if that might help, but still nothing. 

  
We walked towards the sun. We walked away from it. Still nowhere closer to finding a way out. 

  
This went on all day long. We watched the sun rise and the sun set and this time we had no fancy little bed to sleep in and no food or water either. 

We managed to find a bit of a clearing under a mountain ledge and sat down on a very huge log and rested our very sore feet. 

  
"Well, isn't this fun. Since your in charge of this little mission, what next B?" 

  
"Oh I'm in charge? Like you ever follow my orders." 

  
"I do now!" she said definitely, "So what next." 

  
"How convenient for you Faith." I said, not even sure what it meant, but it sounded good when I said it, "Listen, we will find a road or something soon. We have to. We just have to stay positive and try again in the morning." 

  
"I have to admit, I've always admired your optimism B. I mean it. I find it reassuring knowing you will never give up." 

  
"Thanks. I think." I was never sure what to say to Faith anymore. Everything had changed and even though she looked the same, talked the same and even acted pretty much the same, how does one forget the past. I had no answer for that. 

  
"I wish you'd believe me B. But, that's okay. I plan to earn your trust again. You'll see." 

  
"You have no idea how much I hope that's true Faith. I want to trust you. I want to believe you. But, it's going to take time. It's not going to happen overnight." 

  
"That's cool. I have all the time in the world." She smiled at me when she said it and it was the first time I sensed that she was happy since this all started. Even now her smile was something I loved to see. And had missed for so long. 

"I think we should just get some sleep here and head out first thing in the morning." 

Faith just nodded, the smile still on her face and she curled up on the ground and I had one last look around and then crawled beside her and tried to get some sleep as well. 

About 2 AM we felt rain drops and then it was a rain storm and I grabbed a blanket from my bag and we both got under it and we snuggled up together to stay warm, as the temperature had dropped dramatically since we went to bed. 

  
The blanket was soaked in a hurry and both of us were soon soaked as well and the only warmth we found was holding onto each other. 

  
It was strange in a way to need Faith like this. But, I did need her. And it felt good holding her like this. And feeling her arms around me as well. It was also a bit awkward as we were face to face a mere inches from each other. 

  
Her soft full lips so close and that was one complication I was not ready for and I tried to get mind on something else, but it always came back to her soft sexy lips. I had to close my eyes to keep from doing something I might regret. 

  
Faith noticed me staring at her a little too long and finally broke the silence, "What is it? Do I have something on my face?" 

  
"No. Your face looks fine. I'm sorry. I was just noticing your lips if you must know." 

  
"Really? What about them?" 

  
"I think you have a really pretty mouth." I saw he smile again and I could tell she loved hearing that a little too much, "I was just being nice. Making conversation as we are getting pelted with rain. It was a purely objective statement. Don't let it go to your head." 

  
"Slow down B. I didn't say a thing. Thank you though." 

  
"For what?" 

  
"For making me smile." she said, her face positively glowing and the way she said it so softly with so much emotion and sincerity it almost made me cry, but I didn't. I couldn't. I just smiled at her and closed my eyes and we fell asleep in each other's arms and woke up the exact same way. 

There is something to be said for waking up next to someone and even if that someone was Faith, it felt strangely comfortable with her arms around me. 

As I lay there watching her sleep she looked so calm. So happy. It was something I can't say I've ever seen before. I'd never watched her sleep before. I watched as a smile slowly covered her face and then felt this powerful urge to brush a stray piece of hair away from her face and as I leaned over to do this and of course she picked that moment to open her eyes. 

  
I was inches from her face and she smiled at me, with a bit of a grin and said, "Well, good morning to you to B. Was there something I could do for you?" 

  
"No, it's okay. I was just....just thought I saw something crawling on you and was going to brush it away." 

  
"That's so sweet of you. I hope you got it then." she smirked, clearly enjoying how embarrassed I felt. 

  
"I don't know. I think you scared it off when you woke up." I said trying to come up with something that explained what I was doing, but could tell she wasn't buying it. 

  
I pulled back and slowly got up and stretched my legs and Faith was up and doing the same and we both looked around to see if we could see any sign of life anywhere, but no luck. 

  
We were both hungry and thirsty and Faith had only one bottle of water left and we tried to ration that carefully as we picked up our stuff and headed out for the day. 

Faith was quite chipper this morning and was full of energy and much more talkative than she had been the previous day. 

  
"So B, where to next?" 

  
I looked around searching for a reason to go a specific direction and nothing jumped out at me as being the right way, "To be honest, I don't know. It feels like were in some sort of time warp. Or some magical maze." 

  
"But how? Those two goons following us sure didn't have the ability to do any such thing. They can barely walk upright. So were talking some powerful magic here." 

  
"Yes we are." I agreed, surprised a little by how serious Faith could be when she wanted to. 

"There is still a bigger chance that were just lost. And haven't found the right path out of this place." 

  
"I suppose. But that means were pretty dumb and I don't like that answer. I think we should head away from the mountains and see what's ahead. We need something to eat to. Did you ever do any hunting as a kid?" 

  
"No Faith. We got our food at a store." I realized as soon as I said it that it sounded alot more sarcastic than I had intended. 

  
"Yes Buffy, I know that." she said, her voice just a slight bit annoyed by my comment, "I meant you know, with your dad. Some dad's do that you know. Mine did. When he was around that is. Anyway, my point is I do know a little about it and if we have to find food I can help and even cook it." 

  
"I had no idea Faith. Okay, I hope it doesn't come to that but I'm glad you are able to help if it does." I didn't think we would have to resort to this, but I wanted to make sure I acknowledged her wish to help at the same time. 

The sun was out full force again and it was getting to be unbearable to walk anymore and we found a small piece of shade behind a rather large rock and sat down with our backs to it and just caught our breath and let out bodies cool down for a few minutes. 

  
We each took a quick sip of water and that's when we noticed a small plane flying off to the west and it was still gaining altitude and so we were pretty sure it had taken off from that direction and we both knew this was a good sign and took another couple minutes to relax and cool off and then we took off in the direction of the plane and about 20 minutes later we came across a small runway and an even smaller little building at the far end of the runway and walked up to it and once again there was nobody in sight. 

There was still just a whole lot of forest around this mini airport and no sign of a road anywhere. 

  
We looked inside the building and were more than thrilled to see a phone and I grabbed it and began dialing the Magic Shop and was never happier to hear Anya's voice. 

  
"Anya, I'm glad your there. We need some help. I need you to somehow trace this phone number, find an address and then send Willow or Xander or anyone to come pick us up." 

  
"Slow down. We? Who's we? And I'm not the FBI Buffy. I'm just a humble shopkeeper you know. And I'm sure not some super powerful magical wicca either. I can't just wiggle my nose and make things happen. Although I'd sure like to be able......" Anya began to ramble and I would normally be amused and let her continue on but we just didn't have the time. 

  
"Anya listen, this is important. Now, don't you have some way to warp in an out wherever you want? I need you to either locate us on your own or find a way to do it with other methods. We've been on the run for two days and we need food and water and oh a shower." 

  
"Oh alright. I'll try. Maybe give me some vengeance thoughts to feed off. Think of who you want turned into a gnome and I will work with that." 

  
"Fine." I said it without knowing what I was going to do or think of to make this happen, but I looked at Faith and she was just smiling at my conversation with Anya and as I looked at her I found I had no feelings of vengeance for her in me anymore. 

  
I thought of Spike, but couldn't muster any for him either. So I remembered the vamp that almost had Dawn for supper and even though he was dust now, it was still enough to get the juices going. 

  
"I got it!!!. Good work Buffy. I'll get a hold of Xander or Willow and they will be there soon. Your not far from Sunnydale really. Maybe a couple hours tops." 

  
"Thank you Anya." 

  
"Oh, well, your most welcome Buffy." 

  
"I will talk to you when I get back." 

  
"Bye." she said with her usual perkiness and then I hung up and told Faith someone was on the way and I could tell she was relieved, even if she didn't really show it outwardly. 

  
We were inside and there were blinds on the windows and we shut them and turned on a small lamp and sat down on a small couch and just enjoyed the feeling of being safe and only a car ride away from being home again. 

"That Anya sure is an interesting girl." Faith was doing her best to make small talk and it really was not her strong suit. I'm so used to her just saying what's on her mind with no regard for how it sounded and she was never into being politically correct about anything, which is one reason I liked her. I always knew what she was thinking or feeling. Or so I thought. 

"Well, girl, demon, either way, she is something." I agreed. 

  
"So is she the one Xander is with?" 

  
"Not anymore. But, she was yes. It's a long story. So many long stories from this year really." 

  
"I've got nothing but time if you wanted to talk about it." 

  
"Thanks, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet. It was only just starting to get back to normal the last week or so and I want to enjoy this before I relive the whole thing again." 

  
"Okay, I don't mean to pry or anything, but I am interested in what you've been up to since....well, since I left last time." I was constantly amazed at how quickly her voice would change to match her emotions. From being so upbeat and positive and having that bounce in her voice to feeling almost guilty and remorseful everytime she talked about our past. 

  
It did mean something that she felt bad about what she did and at times like these I wanted to just stop and make everything better for her and for me, but I felt that wouldn't solve anything. 

  
Faith is trying and I do respect that alot, but this has to be an ongoing thing here. Or so I tried to tell myself. 

  
"I hope we can get to a point where I can tell you all about everything that's happened to me since you left. I do." 

  
"Good, I'd like that." her voice again picking up as she seemed to sense some hope for her and for us. 

  
"Could I ask about how things have been for you since we last, well, you know saw each other?" 

  
"I don't know. I guess. It's not very interesting though. Just many, many days spent alone. Doing alot of thinking. Talking to a psychologist about my anger issues. About my childhood. About the things she thought might have triggered some of my bad choices. Look, I don't believe any of that crap okay. I accept responsibility for the choices I made. Good and bad. I'm just telling you what happened." she was so defensive talking about this and I wasn't sure why that was. 

  
"Faith, I wasn't thinking anything bad." She still seemed to have trouble showing that she was vulnerable. That she could feel bad or sad. "I know alot of things took place in your past that made trusting people hard. I know that Wesley sending the council after you didn't help. I also know that you don't use these as excuses." 

  
"Well, I really have very little to tell you about my time in prison. It was not fun. But, I deserved it. I think I learned alot about myself and I do want you to know I didn't spend a day in that place that I didn't think about you and what I did to you. Even if it's nothing really, compared to the pain I caused, I would give anything to have those choices back." 

  
"I believe you." I turned to face her and I could tell she was sincere and still being eaten away by this guilt and I was wondering how much more I needed to extract from her before I could move on. "Faith, right now we have to keep you safe until the Wolfram & Hart situation is over and then if you want, you can stick around and show me and my friends that you have changed. I think we are more than willing to give people a second chance. We have done it with Angel, Anya, Spike and each other more times than I care to remember. So you can make different choices now and they will mean more than anything you did in the past." 

  
"I don't know B. I've never been big on forgiveness myself. I'm not sure I want it. I do want to show you that I am basically a good person and I think if I can do that and earn your trust and respect again I will be fine." 

  
She was so sweet sometimes I just wanted to hold her and make everything better for her, "Faith, we all need forgiveness once in awhile. It's not a sign of weakness." 

  
I've never has such a serious conversation with Faith and somehow I didn't realize the depth of her pain. She never showed any of this when she turned bad. She was seemingly happy about what she did. She hid her emotions well back then. 

  
She would never have let me see her like this before. I never saw her without a smile. Or her mischievous grin at the very least. Or without a making a joke to hide her true feelings. 

  
"Buffy, let's just talk about something else. Okay?" she looked right at me and was so somber and I knew it wasn't the time to pursue this any further. 

  
"Alright. Well, when we get back to Sunnydale I think it's best you stay with me. No sense in getting a so called, *safe house* when I have a perfectly good one to use." 

  
"Sure. That's fine." her voice still without it's usual zip to it. 

  
"I think you'll like it. Willow is still going through a tough time of her own and Dawn has always been curious about you, so I think it will be okay." 

  
"I don't know B. Red was not my biggest fan. I don't blame her. I really am not sure she will want me around." 

  
"Well, Willow has had a very rough year. She has had some amazing times of happiness and some tragic times of great sorrow and she to made some very bad choices that I know she would love to have back. So, I don't think she will be passing judgment on anyone for awhile." 

  
"Sounds serious. I guess I have missed alot." 

  
"Yes, the scooby gang has had alot of turmoil in the last three years. But, we stick by each other, through the good and the bad and we will make it." 

  
"I was always envied your friendships. The way they would stand by you no matter what. To the death if need be. That's very rare." 

  
"I guess it is. But, we all need friends. I wouldn't be here today without them." 

  
Faith got up and walked over to the window and stood there looking outside. She didn't say a word for the longest time and I wasn't sure if I should do something or say something or just let her be. 

  
I chose the latter. 

Part Three.. 

  
I must have fallen asleep for awhile, because when I woke up Faith was on the couch beside me, sleeping, her head on my shoulder and for some reason that made me smile. 

  
It was times like these that got me thinking the most. Made me think of how things might have been. What would Faith be like today if she let me help her that fateful night. Would we still be friends? Would she have left town for other reasons. Would we be closer. Would our relationship take a different turn. 

  
It was questions like that that made me nervous. Yet, would make me smile at the same time. 

I never got a chance to really think about my feelings for Faith back then. Everything happened so fast. And the day things seemed to really change for us and the closeness I felt for her was interrupted by an unfortunate accident. 

  
How many nights did I spend thinking about Faith and I dancing at the Bronze. The way she moved. The way she looked at me. The way I looked at her. How it felt to hold her hand. And the what if? What if the accident didn't happen. What if we went home after that night after patrolling. What next. I wonder if she felt the same things I did. I'm almost positive she did, but, well, I kept telling myself maybe it was for the best. 

I kept wondering when used to dream of kissing Faith how it always turned out so perfect and was so romantic and what if reality couldn't live up to that. But as I see her now and feel her body against mine, I want to know. I need to know. 

  
Is there a future for us? Is that even something she wants or has thought about? I don't know. 

She's never been big on relationships. Just the quick fix. But, she's changing now. She's not the same person. And neither I am really. I've gone through alot in my life. So many relationships that just didn't work. That were almost doomed from the start. 

So many questions and not one answer right now. 

  
I know that I feel this overwhelming desire to be with Faith. To protect her. To just be around her. To watch her smile and laugh. Even after all's she done to me I can't stop thinking these things. 

  
She has a way of making me care. Even when I shouldn't. 

  
As I watch her sleep now I can't help but just run my hand through her hair and keep it away from her pretty face. Just to touch her skin. Feel her warmth against my hand. 

  
She woke up moments later and looked up at me and there was that smile again. How could I not smile when I see that face. 

  
"You seem happy B. It's nice to wake up and see you smiling though. Makes me feel good. I don't know why, but it does." 

  
I just looked in her eyes and she was looking right back into mine. I was so trying to figure out what she was thinking right now. This eye contact was getting so intense now. I felt like I was actually kissing her visually and she knew it. 

  
I could tell by the way she was smiling, the way she was looking at me that she was thinking just what I was. And it was so good to be this close to her again. Looking into her eyes. The passion in them. They were so expressive. So full of life. 

  
We stayed like this for I don't know how long and then I felt her slowly lean her head up towards mine and soon I felt her soft lips on mine and oh my god they felt so good. Oh so good. 

  
I kissed her back and didn't want it to end. Never. She pulled herself up and put her arms around me and kissed me harder and I kissed her back just as hard. 

  
Our lips were on fire. I could feel my heart pounding so fast. So very fast. 

  
My hands moved over her back and then back to her face and I just wanted to hold her close as we kissed and I felt her hand slide up under my t-shirt and then over my breast and I didn't want her to stop. 

  
Her hands felt so good. She was so gentle. So sweet. The way her lips touched mine was like nothing I'd ever felt in my life. 

  
As she slid her hand under my bra and touched my breast for the first time I could feel myself getting more and more aroused and as much as I didn't want to stop, I knew this wasn't the right time for this and pulled away from a very surprised and disappointed Faith and she looked at me like I had just broken her heart and I needed to repair that before she got the wrong idea. 

She got up and was about to walk out the door and I grabbed her arm and blocked her path and I could see the hurt in her eyes and it just about killed me seeing this and I took a deep breath and then took her by the hands and slowly led her back over to the couch and sat her down and I sat down beside her, "Faith please listen to me. I know what you must be thinking now and I just need you to hear me out." 

  
"I think it is pretty clear what you think B. And hey, that's fine with me. I'm a big girl now." she was in the process of shutting down and that was never a good sign. 

  
"No, it's not what you think. Would you please listen." I said, a bit louder than I wanted, but it was not hard to talk to Faith sometimes, she can be so stubborn. "I loved kissing you. Okay? I want to kiss you again. I do. But, there is just too much going on right now." 

  
"I don't get it B. You want it. I want it. What's the holdup? It feels like rejection to me." she had a point and I knew it was how I would feel to, but I needed her to see that wasn't the case. 

  
"It's not. God. It's the opposite. If something is going to happen between us I want it to be perfect. I want it to be special. Not based on some moment of passion on some couch in the middle of nowhere with two men/vamps chasing us and ready to kill you. No, I want us to get back to Sunnydale and get through this crisis and then decide what we both want. And yes, I do hope and want to be with you. I certainly didn't think we would have this talk so soon, but I have thought about it alot for three years. So know this please, I am totally ready to give us every chance to make it. And I actually believe we will. This is not rejection. It's a slight postponement of the inevitable the way I see it." 

  
Faith was looking at me with a look that was a combination of confusion, happiness and a little surprise, but she got up and walked back and forth in front of the couch and I wondered what was going through her mind at that point and she sat down again and this time she had a smile on here face, "Okay, I like the part about you wanting to kiss me again. I think I can work with that. Sometimes I tend to forget the big picture, but maybe I even agree with you. Just a little though." 

  
"Well good. I do like seeing you smile. You have such a great one you know." 

  
"Thanks B. Yours is pretty cute to." she said, then began kissing my forehead, then my cheeks and then my nose and then my mouth, "And I have to say you are a very good kisser Miss Summers." 

  
"So are you are." I smiled, then kissed her again and soon we were locked in another passionate kiss and it just felt so right. Like it was meant to be. We spent a great deal of our time just kissing and holding each other as we waited for someone to come pick us up and I couldn't remember being this happy in years. 

  
We were in the midst of another kiss when we heard the sound of a door shut and I stood up and adjusted my t-shirt and jeans and walked over to the door and saw both Xander and Willow walking towards us. 

I opened the door and let them in and I was surprised at how polite they were to Faith and we pretty much left without any incident and I was debating whether to tell them about the kissing, but felt this wasn't the right time for that. 

  
The drive back to Sunnydale was quiet for the most part. Some small talk about Dawn wanting to train to be a slayer and I still wasn't sure how I felt about that yet. I could tell that Willow was still very sad and I knew this was going to be a very long summer for her and it really hurt to see her like this. 

Xander and Anya were slowly able to be civil to each other and that was the extent of the recaps for the past couple days. 

  
They didn't ask alot about why Faith was here, but I assume Anya told them what I did and they knew the basics behind it. 

  
Once back home I showed Faith to a spare room and then closed the door and walked up to her and tried to read what she was thinking by looking in her eyes, but had no such luck. So I had to ask instead, "So, how are you doing?" 

  
"I'm fine." she said softly. "Really, I'm okay. Just need a little time to get used to this new setting is all. Your friends were nice. At least they didn't ask me to leave. That's a start." 

"They will all come to accept you in time. It won't be easy, but I know you will win them over." 

  
"I'm glad you think so." she said nervously as she put her bag on the dresser by the bed and sat down on the chair and looked back at me, "You know I never really cared if your friends liked me before. I kind of thought they should just because I was a slayer. I did learn alot about friendship from you back then. Even if it didn't look like it at the time. But, if I'm going to be staying on here I would like to become part of the group if that's even possible." 

  
"Of course it is. I just hope you know it will take time. Everyone of us has had a very difficult year and that will probably be the first thing we all have to work through. But, I think everyone will notice that you have changed. You will have to show them. I think your actions will do alot to convince them in time." 

  
"I never understood why you always seemed to believe in me so much. In many ways it scared me back then. So much to live up to. I really didn't want to disappoint you ever. And when I thought I had, I just couldn't deal with it. I still never forgot how much you did for me and tried to do for me. I guess I want you to know how much that meant to me and still does." 

  
I leaned up against Faith in the chair and put my arms around her and gave her a big hug, "I still believe in you Faith, but I don't have any these standards you have to live up to. I just want you to be you. Everything will work out though. Now, I want you to get settled here. The bathroom and shower or through those doors and there is a dresser and a closet to put your clothes. I have to go check on Dawn, so I will see you when your ready." 

  
Faith stood up and nodded that she's be fine and I went downstairs to where Dawn and the gang were standing in the kitchen apparently awaiting some explanation for Faith's presence in the house. 

  
"Okay, Faith is going to be staying here for awhile. There are some people trying to kill her and Angel asked is I would help protect her. He swears she has changed and from the time I've spent with her the past two days I tend to agree with him. She helped us stay alive and is very remorseful for everything she did in the past." 

  
"Why does it seem like you've already forgiven her and are ready to have her stay here permanently?" asked a confused Xander as everyone else looked at me waiting to hear my response. 

  
Xander was always blunt when it came to telling people the things he didn't like and for the most part it had a way of making everyone answer the tough questions and that may not have been fun all the time but it did clear the air at least, "Look Xander. I have not forgot what she did. I never will. I have seen a change in her in the time we've been together. She wants to make amends for what she did. She wants to try and earn all of your trust again. Nobody is saying you have to just take my word for it. In time you will see for yourself and make up your own mind. But, I want you to at least give her the benefit of the doubt for now. We've all made some mistakes and some bad choices this year so I think we can afford a little forgiveness as well." 

  
"And I couldn't agree more Buffy. I trust your instincts and will hope your right about her wanting to change." added Willow softly. 

"I don't really know Faith, but I know some of the things she did. Good and bad and I just want to meet her and see what she's like. I think it will be cool to have another slayer helping you out though." Dawn said, still with her bizarre fascination with Faith going strong. 

  
"I personally don't know her either, but she sounds interesting. As long as she doesn't interfere with my work at the magic shop and doesn't try and kill me I'm all for her staying here. I mean you did give me a second chance and aside from wanting to turn Xander into a small animal I've been pretty productive and helpful around here I think." Anya stated proudly. 

"Good then. I want everyone to be extra careful for the next few days since Faith is still a target and we have no idea if they know she's staying here or not. But chances are they will figure it out and we have to be ready for them if they do." 

  
They all nodded and seemed outwardly okay with the whole situation so that was a relief. 

I wanted to bring Faith down for a friendly dinner for her first night here and made sure everyone would show up and we could have a nice civil time of it. 

It wasn't long before everyone was sitting down to the large oak table in the dining room and Faith came walking into the room and everyone turned and stared and she smiled and walked past them all and stood right in front of me, noticed all the eyes on her and turned to face the rest of the group "Okay, I don't have alot of clothes with me and this is all I could find to wear. So enough with the looks already." she then turned to face me and smiled, "I'm here. Where do you want me to sit B?" 

Even I had to take notice of the outfit she was wearing. A very elegant red dress. Yes, a dress on Faith. Not that I don't love her in leather, but she looked stunning in this and I had a hard time responding to her. 

  
"Um, well, you can sit right here beside me." I managed after a fairly obvious pause. 

  
The others were still just as surprised as I was to see Faith looking so different. Xander's mouth was still open and even Willow was intrigued by this new look, but they all managed to have a seat. 

It was very quiet as we all just smiled at each other without saying much of anything. Finally Xander broke the ice with some crack about the chicken breasts and as bad a joke as it was, it was something that did lighten the mood up and eventually got everyone talking a little bit at least. 

  
"Hi Faith. I'm Dawn. Buffy's sister. We haven't met but I really want to get to know you better so if you have some time later I'd love to talk about your life with you." Dawn asked in a very serious yet upbeat tone as Faith stared at her trying to figure out why Dawn was so interested in her. 

  
"Well, there isn't much to tell Dawn. I'm sure you've heard alot of the stories from your sister and the others already. I just don't think I can help you out." Faith said bluntly, the awkwardness of the question getting to her more than she let on. 

  
"Come on. Please. I don't want just one side of this. I want to know it all. And about your childhood and well, maybe even the time in prison if it's not too much trouble." 

  
"I don't know. I don't really talk about my past very much. It isn't something that brings up any good memories." 

  
"Oh." Dawn's enthusiasm was slowly disappearing and Faith saw the puppy dog look on her face and let out a soft sigh, "Okay, you talked me into it. After we eat I'll sit down and try and answer any questions you might have." 

  
"Thank you. Thank you. I really do appreciate this. Alot." Dawn gushed, her eyes wide and her smile covering her whole face as she finally relaxed enough to start eating something. 

I have to say I was happy that Faith agreed to talk to Dawn like this. I think it will be good for her to talk to someone besides me and I know Dawn will just love this. 

  
The dinner went pretty well from that point on. Everyone seemed to relax and there was even some polite conversations between Willow and Faith about their mutual appreciation for ketchup on their chicken. 

  
It wasn't alot, but it was something they could at least work on. Having something in common like this was equally strange to both Willow and Faith and I only hoped it could be a start of a friendship of some kind or at the least an end to the major animosity that these two seem to have for each other. 

Anya and Xander left, but not together. Still not quite ready to patch things up, but were getting better at being around each other lately and that was a good sign. I think. 

  
Willow went over to the Magic Shop to do some research on a demon that appeared the night I left for LA. 

While Dawn was quick to grab Faith and start in on her never ending quest to learn everything she could about Faith. 

  
I really did want to stand here all night and listen to the conversation these two might have, but I thought it was best to give them some privacy and hopefully Faith would open up to Dawn and share some of her childhood or past with someone and I decided to take a quick patrol and see what I could come up with. 

  
It was a very hot night still and a great one for clearing my head and thinking about the last two days and everything that has gone on with Faith during that time. 

  
There still hasn't been enough time for me to really process it all, but there was one thing I could say for certain and that's that I am glad Faith is back in my life. Just what that means for the future I haven't a clue, but I'd like the chance to find out. 

  
And as much as she is still the same old Faith I always knew, she has become slightly more reserved. Just to the extent that she doesn't have that chip on her shoulder anymore and isn't always expecting people to let her down. 

  
I think she might be ready to really trust me this time around and I don't want to make her regret that in any way. 

  
I keep telling myself to take things slow. Don't just rush in without giving all these negative feelings and emotions a chance to come out. I just have a feeling that if I don't deal with all the hurt Faith caused me in the past it would end up coming back to haunt both of us later on. 

  
And then I ask myself why drudge up all those painful memories for both of us? I mean, I know she feels remorse for what she did. I just don't know what to do. How to deal with this situation. 

  
It's just so confusing. Because what I want to do would be so easy. I want to kiss her. I want to hold her. I want to make her smile. Feel safe when she's with me. Feel loved for the first time in her life. I want all of those things and more for her and for us. 

  
I don't want to drive her away with a bunch of negative talk about the past. Oh god. Is anything in my life free of complications. 

Part Four. 

As I began to analyze this situation a little further, I was kicked from behind by a very ugly, yet quite large demon as two other strange looking demons looked on from atop a crypt to the left of us. 

  
The large demon didn't speak, just moved towards me and started swinging his arms wildly, making contact with my shoulder and sending me flying backwards and onto the ground. 

  
So, he was strong. That isn't enough to take me I told myself as I hopped to my feet and walked back over to it and proceeded to deliver a whole arsenal of my best moves, with the last kick sending the demon hurdling backwards and landing hard on the ground beside the two other demons. 

  
It lie there motionless for almost a minute then seemed to shake off the cobwebs and come right back at me again. I needed all my speed and quickness to avoid his violent punches and once again landed a combination of punches and kicks that sent him to the ground. 

  
This time I walked over and grabbed my stake and turned the beast around and as I lunged forward it disappeared. Completely. 

  
Okay, this was annoying. I looked over at the two smaller demons and they were giggling. Yes, giggling. Like two little children. Only they weren't children. 

  
I walked towards them and asked them what they were doing here and they looked at each other and laughed some more and then the one with the larger ears spoke, "You will find out what we want slayer. All in good time. But, make no mistake about it, when we ask you will do as we say." 

  
"Do you guys not read the papers? Send each other faxes? Maybe learn from the mistakes of the other hundred demons who have made these same lame threats to me? Well, you should. Now, I suggest you take your hyena laugh and giant ears and take a hike before you turn to dust." 

  
They once again laughed in unison and then the one pulled out a little wand and held it in front of me and began chanting something I could not make out but was smart enough to know it wasn't going to be good, so I took off. 

  
I was running side to side to avoid being an easy target and as I jumped over a small creek I heard a tremendous noise and then looked up and saw that the sky had turned completely still. The trees had stopped moving. There was nothing happening anywhere. 

  
I knew this had to be an illusion. Nobody can stop time. They just can't. 

  
The one thing I could see was those same two little pests laughing at me from that same spot and I was getting more than a little annoyed with them. 

I walked back over to them and even grabbed one of them and there wasn't the slightest bit of fear on it's face as I grabbed my stake and attempted to drive it into the little demon and it went right through it. Didn't leave a mark. Didn't make a sound. Yet, I was still holding it and it was not an illusion. This thing was real. 

  
Something was very wrong and I needed to get to the bottom of it and soon. 

"Whatever parlor tricks you are using right now will not protect you when I find out how your doing all this. Magic is fine, but there's always a counter-magic for every spell. And I will find it. You can count on it." 

  
"I can tell you the counter-spell if you like. It won't help. You aren't capable of using spells anyway. We know all about you slayer. You may have super strength and super healing powers, but you are no witch. So, don't make threats you can't back up. Now, we will be in touch with you soon. At that time we will tell you what we want you to do for us." 

  
And before I could say any more they had up and disappeared on me again. 

  
I knew this was not good. Powerful magic users like this were not to be messed with. And if they were the same demons that Willow and Xander saw the other night then were going to need all of us working together to get rid of them. 

I headed back to the house and as I walked inside I saw Dawn sitting on the couch watching TV and there was no sign of Faith. 

  
"Hi there." 

  
"Hi." she said, not taking her eyes of the TV even for a second. 

  
"How did things go with Faith? Did you have a nice talk with her?" 

  
"Yeah, it was alright. We actually talked for quite awhile. She just went up to her room a few minutes ago." I sat down beside Dawn and took off my jacket and was so tempted to ask about her talk in more detail, but felt like it would be spying on Faith to do this so I changed the subject, "What are you watching?" 

  
"Nothing much. Just an old movie." 

  
She didn't seem all that talkative so I told her I was going up to my room and would talk to her in the morning. She barely nodded at me, so I walked up the stairs and stopped outside Faith's room and wondered if I should just give her a night alone or if I should check on her or talk to her. 

  
I had such a strong urge to see her that I had to knock on her door. 

  
She answered the door wearing a white t-shirt and that was it . "Hi. Did you want to come in?" 

  
"Sure, for awhile." I walked past her and she closed the door behind us and I sat on her bed and she hopped up beside me and oh it was hard to see her looking so sexy and not just reach over and kiss her, but I couldn't. Not just yet anyway. "How was your first night here?" 

  
"It was fine. Dawn was great. She asks to many questions, but other than that she is a cute kid." 

  
"Don't let her catch you calling her a kid. She will bite your head off." I laughed, knowing full well how true that was. 

  
"If your are asking about what Dawn and I talked about that's fine." her face didn't really have much of an expression, but I couldn't tell if she was telling me she didn't want to talk about it or she did. 

  
"No, really. That is between you and Dawn. I am not here to keep taps on everything you do or every conversation you have. Now, let me just say that I would love to know about your past one day myself. I truly would, but only if you want to tell me." 

  
"Thanks B. I think one night of drudging up old memories is enough for me for now. I will tell you though. I promise. It's just not a very interesting story." her eyes changed so much when she talked, from a moment of obvious happiness where they were so expressive and happy when she found out that I wouldn't be bugging her about her past, to almost sad and gloomy when she mentioned her past. 

  
"I want to know about your past Faith, not because I want to be entertained, but because I want to know all about you. The good times and the bad. I am interested in everything about you. I hope you know this." I put my hand on hers and looked her right in the eyes so she could tell I was being honest with her. 

  
"I believe you Buffy. I do. I don't know why you care, but I'm glad you do. Anyway, enough about me. How did the patrol go?" she asked, as she stood up and walked to the end of the bed. 

  
"Actually that was something I did need to talk to you about. And the others. We may have a serious problem on our hands." 

  
"Sounds interesting. So what are we up against?" she was easily intrigued and her enthusiasm for being a slayer hadn't faded one bit. 

  
"That's the thing, I don't know. Not really. There were two little gnome like magic using demons who seem to be very powerful that kept telling me they wanted me to do something for them. They also had the ability to stop time. Or so it felt. Everything about them was kind of creepy and magical and they were able to disappear without a trace. They also don't seem to be your run of the mill demons, but when I tried to stake one of them my stake went right through it. Yet I could hold it in my hands. It's just hard to explain." 

  
"I guess we need Willow's magic for this one." Faith said rather calmly, totally unaware of Willow's problems with magic. 

  
"Oh no. We won't be using Willow for her magic. She is off magic for now. She's still recovering from all the dark magic she used a couple months ago. It has some very nasty side effects. She can still help using the computer and looking up information on these creatures." 

  
"Okay, should we get on this tonight or do we have some time to get organized?" 

  
"They did say they would contact me when they needed me next, so I think that gives us some time. Besides, you need some sleep tonight. We both do after the past couple days of non stop action. We can talk about this first thing in the morning." 

  
"Sure, whatever you say. I am kind of tired. I am looking forward to getting back to working with you again though B." 

  
"Me to. But, we can't forget about the Wolfram & Hart threat. We just have to keep our eyes open for any type of problem. For all we know these two little creatures are working for the lawyers. Nothing would surprise me anymore." 

  
"I agree with that." she said softly and then walked past me and stared out the window. 

  
I walked over to her and put my hand on her shoulder and looked outside with her and then she turned to me and put her arms around me and just held me close for a long time and then pulled back, "I just needed to hold you again and make sure this was all real and not some dream." 

  
"It's real Faith. Come on, take my hand." she took it and held it tightly and I leaned in and gave her a kiss and then pulled back, "And that was real to Faith. And when I say I care about you alot, I mean it. Right now we need to get some sleep and then need to take care of these latest threats and then I want some time for just us." 

  
"I'd love that to. I may not show it alot, but I am happy to be here with right now. With you. Getting a second chance. It means alot to me. I'm not good at saying things sometimes but I wanted you to know this." 

  
"I'm glad you told me this. Thank you. I will talk to you in the morning. Get some sleep." 

She smiled and watched me leave and walk down the hall to my bedroom and then I saw her close the door and I closed mine and walked slowly into the bathroom, Faith's strawberry lip gloss still fresh on my lips and the touch of her hands and the warmth of her body when we hugged were things that made me smile so much. 

  
I changed clothes and got into my favorite little summer nightgown and lie down and tried to get some sleep. 

  
I couldn't think of anything but Faith though and I knew this was going to be a pleasant distraction for a long time to come. 

  
When I closed my eyes I would see her walking towards me, she would throw off her leather jacket and be wearing a tight red top and sexy light blue jeans and she would walk through a crowd of unknown people and put her arms around me and kiss me hard and lift me up and tell the world she loved me and everyone would be so happy for us. 

  
There were times when I dreamed of things a little less pleasant when it came to Faith, but even in my darkest hour I never could hurt her. Which is why the memories of what I did to her haunted me as much as the things she did to me. 

  
That was the last thing I remember thinking about when I woke up the next morning. 

  
I got up and had a quick shower and got dressed and went downstairs to find Faith standing over the stove and Dawn eating pancakes and it was a scene I never thought I'd see, but it sure was a nice sight to wake up to. 

  
Dawn was eating away as I sat down beside her and Faith turned to look at me and our eyes locked, like they always did and we shared a smile and she turned back to the frying pan and flipped over a couple more pancakes and then a couple minutes later she walked over and put two on my plate and asked Dawn if she wanted anymore and Dawn just nodded and mumbled something about one more please and Faith put another pancake in front of Dawn and went back to the stove and cooked herself a couple and soon we were all sitting down eating together and it felt nice. Felt like a family. 

Dawn finished first and thanked Faith for the great breakfast and then took off to the living room to watch some show on TV. 

I sat there quietly for awhile, eating the very tasty food that Faith had cooked and just watching her eat. 

  
It's hard to believe anyone can look beautiful when they are eating pancakes, but she did. She had surprised me again by making breakfast like this and I just had to know how this came about, "This was an amazing breakfast Faith." 

  
"Thanks. It was nothing really. Just followed a recipe I learned in prison." she finished the sentence and then got up visibly upset about something. 

  
I walked over to her and turned her around so she was facing me, "What is it? You looked so upset when you walked over here." 

  
"I get sick of saying I was in prison every 5 words. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself either, but it's like those three years will always be with me. Everyone will associate Faith as the ex-con. The psycho chick who turned bad. I just wonder if I'll ever live this down. I don't want sympathy or pity or anything. This is my problem and I shouldn't have even said anything." 

  
Sometimes it was hard to figure out what makes Faith tick. Things I would think might bother her don't even phase her, yet others seem to eat away at her very being. 

  
"I don't pity you. I don't care that you were in prison. It's not who you are. It was a part of your past. I want to focus on the present and the future." I told her this and then walked back over to the table and had one last bite of the pancake and looked over at Faith again, "Now, wherever you learned how to cook I think both Dawn and I are very happy about it. So this is a compliment Faith. Say thank you." 

  
"Thank you." she said, her face changing instantly as soon as she flashed that smile of hers. 

  
"That's good. Now, I will clean up. It's the least I can do after you did this for Dawn and I. Why don't you sit down and relax while I do this. Then I will get the gang together and we can talk about how we are going to deal with those pesky demons from last night." 

  
"I'm not afraid of dishes B. And besides, your only putting them in the dishwasher anyway. I think I can help." 

  
She was right so I let her help. 

Once we were finished I made all the calls and found out Willow spent the night in the Magic Shop and will be coming over with Xander and Anya. 

It was about 30 minutes before they arrived and we had a meeting in the living room to go over what happened last night and I gave a description of the two demons to everyone told them all about the vague request/threat they gave me about coming back to get me to do something for them and that was pretty much the whole meeting. 

  
Willow, Xander and Anya headed back to the Magic Shop to do some research and I wanted Faith and I to go have another look around but I had nowhere to take Dawn since Spike left town. 

  
I didn't like the idea of her being alone in the house either so that left me with the thought of taking her with us and I didn't like that much either. 

  
Still, with two of us around to protect her it was the lesser of two evils. 

Dawn was so excited about getting a chance to come with us and that was fun to see, but I had to make her understand that this was very serious and if any demons or vamps show up she was to get out of the way and find someplace safe to hide until after the fight. 

  
She agreed and we headed out. 

Faith was always so upbeat when it came to patrols it was still a bit unsettling really. I wondered just how much she had changed since she was in prison. Was she less aggressive. Was she able to make better choices now. Would she lose her amazing instincts if she did have to tame her wild side. I don't know the answers to those questions yet, but my first instinct is Faith will be just fine. 

  
We made our way through the usual vamp hang outs with no sightings at all and then headed backed to where I met those demons last night. 

It was eerily quiet as we approached a strange looking crypt in the middle of the graveyard. There was a bright light that went straight up into the sky and was so bright it was hard to look at without being blinded. 

  
Faith had some sunglasses and put them on and made her way closer to the crypt and had a look inside. 

  
Dawn was standing beside me holding onto my jacket and I could tell she was scared and was beginning to question bringing her along. 

I watched as Faith moved around the crypt looking for an opening and soon she began pulling up on something and the lid pulled back and she looked over to us and waved us over. 

We walked over slowly, carefully avoiding the bright light and watched as Faith was about to climb into the crypt. 

  
"Faith!!. Wait!!!." I yelled, not ready to lose her to some careless stunt. 

  
"What? We have to check this out B. No time like the present." 

  
"Come on now Faith, this is what got you into trouble before. Acting first and thinking later."  
Faith gave me a look of frustration and then smiled and walked back over to me and Dawn, "Okay, let's come up with a plan then. Although I don't see how we can until we go in and see what's inside." 

  
She had a point, but I still needed to get her to learn we had to be a team now. Not just her working on her own, "I know Faith. I want to look inside as much as you do. You go on first and I will be right behind you. I just wanted you to have some back up that's all." 

  
"I know. I get it. I was just excited about getting back into the whole slayer thing again. The adrenaline rush is still such an energy boost." 

I knew all about the rush and if not for Giles and all his help I would be just like Faith and was trying to show her this without being to preachy or annoying. Not sure if I managed do it quite the way I wanted though. 

  
We climbed into the Crypt and it was pretty much the same as all the rest with one exception being it had a very fancy mirror on the west side of the cave and that was sure didn't come with the place. 

Faith and I walked over towards it and examined it as best we could and when we pulled it off the wall there was a lever behind it and after looking at each other Faith pulled the lever downwards and the wall opened up. 

I was pretty sure this was going to lead to somewhere dangerous and I was getting more and more worried about bringing Dawn along. I had hoped for an uneventful night, but knew that one day we would have to face some danger and at least now there were two slayers to help protect her. 

I told Dawn to stay close and we made our way through the very dark and twisting passage until we came across another opening and a lever to the side of it. Faith reached down and pulled on it and another passage opened up. 

We went through about a half dozen of these before coming across a very strange room with candles on the walls and a large pit of some kind in the center of it with 8 very tall, very gold pillars in a circular pattern throughout the room. 

It was moderately light and there was a regular door to the left and another lever and passage to the right but no sign of life at all. 

Dawn was holding onto to the back of Faith's jacket as we slowly made our way into the room and as we moved towards the center of the room to investigate the pit we heard a very loud sound of something latching or closing and we turned to see the passage way that we entered from closing and then looked to see a swarm of demons start to crawl out of the pit. 

Neither Faith nor I had seen this type of demon before and that just made the whole situation that much more unsettling. 

The demons didn't attack or even move towards us. They stood in a straight line and looked back towards the pit. 

  
That's when something began to rise from below and a large platform brought those same two demons from last night up to the surface. 

  
The strange part was why they needed any transportation at all if they could teleport in and out at will. 

  
They hovered across the room and stopped in front of the three of us and the one on the left began to speak, "Well, I see you have found us. Just as we had hoped. The best part is you bought some friends with you. How did you know we were getting hungry?" 

Faith made a movement towards them and they blinked and were gone and reappeared across the room, "That's not very nice." the second demon said as it laughed in that same irritating laugh as before. 

"What do you want. Just get on with it. Anything so you will stop that pathetic whimpering you do." 

  
The demons were not impressed with my comment and sent a flash of lightning hurling right at me and I dove out of the way in the nick of time and hopped to my feet again and walked right up to the pesky little demons, "Nice try. But enough games. What do you want?" 

  
"It's really not the time for this. I said we would get in touch and we will." the demon with the very large ears informed me. 

  
"That's not going to work for me." I was trying to figure out just how to get some advantage in this situation and the only way I could think of was to eliminate the 6 bodyguard type demons and try and take care of the others when that was done. 

  
I motioned to Faith and she knew just what I meant and instantly we were taking out the demons one by one until they were all nothing but dust and we walked back over towards the two smaller demons who did not seem the least bit upset or worried that we'd just killed their flunkies, "Bravo slayer. And your little helper was quite impressive to. But, it doesn't change a thing. You are not in control. You are nothing but a means to an end for us and when the time is right we will let you know. Now, you may stay here and look around or you can leave, the choice is yours. But, we must be off now." 

  
And without another word they vanished into thin air. 

  
"Okay, those two are really getting on my nerves. I hate demons that won't fight. The ones who talk are always the worst." Faith continued to walk around the room looking for something that might be a clue as to what we were up against. 

  
"Oh I know. I'd rather take a beating than listen to those to act all superior." I couldn't have agreed more with Faith on this and the three of us searched the place from top to bottom and found nothing of importance in it. 

We still had some choices to make though as there were two doors we hadn't been through and we agreed on checking out the regular door first and I opened the door and as we stepped inside we found ourselves back in Sunnydale outside a small diner on the outskirts of town. 

  
There was no door to go back into and now we couldn't check out the other door until later so we headed back home to see what the others had figured out. 

Part Five. 

As soon as we went inside Willow called us over and showed us a picture of the two smaller demons and told us a little about them. 

  
It seems as though they are illusionists more than they are real magic users and said they don't pose any real threat unless you buy into the illusions they create. She said they can create elaborate illusions that can seem as real as life itself and if you give into them and start believing they are real that's when they can do damage. 

  
As she continued to explain things it was clear there was almost no way to tell what illusions they may create although most would include using family and friends to execute their plans. 

  
We talked a little more about the demons and then Xander and Anya left and Willow went upstairs to be alone and Dawn went back into the living room to watch some TV and that left Faith and I alone for the first time today. 

I sat down beside her and wasn't sure whether to keep talking about the demons from today or the ones who were chasing her or just talk about us so I chose a 4th option and asked about her instead. 

"I'm good. It felt great to be back out there fighting evil again and it was good to be doing it with you." She always had alot of energy when it came to slaying and that was always contagious and kept me alert when we worked together. 

  
"I know. I just want to find out what's going on with these new demons and find out if they are connected to the ones after you. Then we can get rid of them and have some peace and quiet for a change." 

  
"What would you do if you had some time to do anything you wanted?" she asked softly and I knew what I would do and just wasn't sure it was the right time to say it. 

"Oh I don't know. I'd like to go away somewhere. Someplace hot and with some beaches and sand and just relax and be lazy for a week or two." 

  
"Sounds perfect to me." 

  
"Well you did know I would want you to come with me right?" I smiled at her and could see that made her happy and she stood up and crawled onto my lap and put her arms around me and gave me a nice soft kiss and then stood up and walked over to the fridge and grabbed an orange juice, opened it up and took a long drink through the thin straw, looked back at me, "So were on a secluded beach, just you and me and the sand and sun huh? I like that. Tell me more." 

  
I leaned back in my chair and smiled back at her and began telling her just how I saw our time together. 

  
"I see us spending the days swimming in the beautiful ocean in the morning then spending the afternoons lounging in a canopy made for two, drinking margarita's and listen to sounds of birds chirping and the waves as they splashed on the shore, while the evenings would be spent lying by the campfire with you in my arms." 

  
"That sounds amazing B. But if we did all that stuff in the morning, afternoon and evening what would we be doing come bedtime?" she asked with a very sexy look on her face." 

  
I got up and walked slowly over towards her and stood right behind her and whispered in her ear, "Whatever do you mean Faith?" 

  
"I think you know what I mean." she whispered back and then spun around so she was facing me now and put her hands on my hips and just looked so deep into my eyes I swear I could feel her inside me. 

"Well, I can think of a couple things we could do to pass the time at night's. If your up for it that is." I said playfully as I kissed her soft neck. 

She leaned her head back and let out a soft sigh and then moved her lips to mine and kissed me again and I lost track of where we were and just began kissing her back very hard and deep and my hands soon were exploring her body and moving up to her firm breasts and I caressed them through her cute little top and was about to slide my hands under her top when I could feel eyes on me and I looked over and saw Willow standing in the doorway in a state of shock. 

  
I pulled away from Faith as if I had been caught with my hand in the cookie jar and felt a huge sense of guilt even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. 

  
I looked at Faith and then Willow and finally back to Faith and asked her if she could give me some time alone with Willow and she smiled and made a hasty exit and I brought Willow over and sat her down and tried to explain all this to her as best I could. 

"Okay, this was probably very weird for you to see. And I'm sorry. I should have told you what was going on with Faith and I when I got back. But I honestly didn't know then. It was all happening so fast and I swore I would take this slow and well, it didn't work out that way. Are you mad or disappointed or what?" I asked, not sure how she would take this at all. 

She paused for the longest time. It felt like an eternity as I waited to see how she felt. She finally began to talk and tell me what she was feeling, "I don't know how I feel about this. I don't even know what I saw or what it means yet. I always knew there was something between you and Faith, but I thought it was just a strong bond from the slayer thing. Do you love her? I mean, is that what this is? Do you trust her now? I don't think I can say how I feel until I know exactly what you and Faith have going right now." 

  
I knew she was right and it was very hard for me to explain, but I did my best to be honest with her and that meant admitting things to her that I hadn't admitted to myself or Faith yet. 

  
"Right now I'd say were just in the process of beginning a relationship. I care about her so much. And the feelings are so strong I really can't explain how much I care about her or why. Everything she does makes me feel. That's the best thing I can say. She makes me really feel things. Good or bad. I feel so much when I'm with her." 

  
I watched Willow as much as I could as I tried to explain to her how I felt, just hoping she would understand some of what I was telling her and maybe even be happy for me along the way. 

"I think everyone knew Faith made you feel things. We just weren't sure what those things were. From the first time she came to town there was no doubting there was something special about her. And it was good to see you become so close to her so fast. I may have acted a bit jealous of how much time you spent with her, but I was happy for you. I was. I liked that you had someone who could understand all the things you went through as a slayer and I was even happier you had someone to help you with your job because that meant better chances that you would stay alive." 

  
"We had more problems when it came to our approaches to slaying than anything and actually were so different it worked against us alot of the times. But, slowly but surely we learned to understand the other one and we were just getting to the point where we could do the job without needing to say a word. It was right after that things all fell apart though." 

  
"I know. And I'm sorry about that. I know she hurt you back then when she wouldn't let you help her and then started helping the mayor and well, all the rest. It's good you feel she's changed now." 

  
It was the way she said that last sentence that made me realize she was not convinced Faith had changed and I couldn't blame her for that. She wasn't around her as much as I was and even if she was I think it would take more and I have no problem with that. 

  
"Well, it has been only a couple of days but I do feel she has changed. That she made an effort to change because she didn't like who she had become in the end. I believe it will take a long time before I trust her completely, but right now I have a good feeling about her." 

  
"I understand Buffy. I do. It's your life and your house and you can have anyone in either that you want to. After what I did I am not going to condemn Faith to a life without second chances. I hope things work out for her and for you both. I mean it. I want you to be happy and if Faith makes you happy then I will support it any way I can." 

  
"Oh she does make me happy. So happy. Thank you Willow. For being you. For being fair and giving her another chance. That's all I ask." 

  
I gave her a friendly hug and Dawn walked in and asked what was going on and I knew I would have to explain to her just what was going on with Faith and I and I really had no idea how she would react. 

  
She was so supportive of Willow and Tara, but I am not sure how she feels about Faith yet. 

  
Willow said she was tired and headed upstairs and I sat Dawn down and tried to explain this as best I could. 

"Okay, I have something I have to tell you and I don't know how your going to take it. So please wait until I'm done before you say anything." 

  
She agreed and I proceeded to tell her all about how I felt about Faith and how she was going to be living here even after the demon problems were solved. I explained that she makes me happy and she just sat there staring at me with this expression I just could not figure out. 

Finally I just asked her what she thought of all this and she got up and headed back towards the living room and turned back to me one last time and said, "It's cool. If that's who you want to be with then go for it." and then she just walked away. 

Teenagers. Who can figure them out. I felt a sense of relief that I'd been able to tell two people about Faith and I and got two fairly positive responses. I had no idea how Xander would take this but figured Anya would be okay with it. 

That still left Giles and then I wasn't sure if this was something Angel needed or would want to know about and as for Spike, he wasn't around so that was not something I had to deal with at the moment. 

It was time to head upstairs and I was smiling just thinking about it. 

  
I knocked on Faith's door and she opened it up and let me in and she asked how it went with Willow and I let her know the quick version of our talk and how she was supportive and wanted to see me happy and then I let her know that Dawn also knew about us but I still had to tell Xander and Anya. 

She was pleased with how things went and walked up to me and slowly backed me up against the door and took my hands and placed them over my head and began kissing my neck and then moved to nibbling on my ear lobes which felt so good I wanted to just stay like this forever. 

Luckily Faith had other ideas and continued kissing her way down my neck and then made her way back to my very eager lips. 

  
And her lips were just so soft and sweet I really could get used to kissing them every single night. 

  
I was just lost in the moment and could not get enough of Faith. This was the kind of effect she had on me. I was so consumed with her it was as if all my other senses went out the window because I should have seen that demon climbing in the window behind Faith alot sooner!!! 

  
I nudged Faith out of the way and gave the demon a serious kick to the stomach and then a huge forearm to the back and it was on the ground and Faith was looking out for others and sure enough another big, yet dumb looking demon came waltzing into the room and actually stood still as it saw me holding it's buddy on the ground and Faith tapped it on the shoulder and it turned around right on cue and she decked it and was soon on top of it and was about to stake it when I yelled out to wait. 

  
I looked down at the demon I was holding and tried to find out if it could actually speak English or not, "Hey you." It looked up at me but didn't say anything, "Can you talk? Do you understand me? Were you hired by Wolfram & Hart?" 

  
It didn't say anything at first, then the one Faith was holding down did speak up, "Yes, we were hired to kill a girl named Faith." 

  
"Good then. So who hired you? Lilah?" Faith asked, her hand firmly around the creature's neck. 

  
"No, it was a contract given to us before she took over. It was Lindsay that hired us." 

  
"He doesn't even work for them anymore. So even if you did complete this contract you wouldn't be getting paid." I informed them both. 

  
They looked at each other and seemed to understand that they were in a no win situation and were not really in any position to argue so they quite happily agreed to stop hunting Faith or they would end up very dead. 

The two demons just nodded yes and took off out the window. 

Faith walked up to me and smiled, "Where were we?" 

  
I just looked at her and put my arms around her and my lips over hers and soon we were right where we wanted to be. Where I think we were meant to be all this time. Together. 

I wanted her so bad now so I took her hand and led her over to the bed, but she didn't follow. 

  
She stood there looking like she didn't know what to do, but I knew she had something to say, "What is it Faith?" 

  
"First I want you to know how much I want to shut up right now. If I could I would be in bed with you and everything would be perfect." 

  
"Then let's do that. Forget the past. Right now I just want to be with you." 

  
She smiled that sexy grin of hers and took my hand and sat be down on the bed and she stood in front of me and paced back and forth a couple times and then stopped and just started talking, "Okay, I'm not a big believer in talking about feelings and stuff, but I have to tell you what I was feeling back then when I hurt you and everyone you loved so bad. I'm not making excuses okay? I just want to let you get into me head a little. If you can stand it." 

  
I always loved it when Faith talked to me. Really talked to me and even though this was still a very painful subject I knew she was right and we had to get it out before we could ever really move on. 

  
I held her hand and looked into her big beautiful eyes, "Of course I can stand it. I do want to know everything your feeling now and did back then. So please continue." 

  
She gave me a relieved look then started in again, "I want you to know that the time I spent with you 4 years ago were the best times of my life. I never in my life felt like I belonged anywhere, but you made me feel welcome and special and I didn't know how to deal with anything good in my life. I was sure it would end and I kept waiting for that to happen. So when I found out you were hiding Angel from everyone it was the beginning of the end. I never thought I could be hurt. I was strong. I was the slayer, but that hurt alot. Knowing you didn't tell me about Angel. When Xander told me he was a vamp I was more than eager to dust him. Not because he was a threat, but because I hated the idea of him being with you so much I wanted him gone." 

  
"I'm sorry. I didn't tell anyone about Angel and it was a huge mistake. I know this. I broke everyone's trust then. I had no idea you felt this strongly about all this. You never once let on." 

  
"Well B, how could I. I didn't know what I was feeling. Not really. I just felt this anger and rage come over me and well, it didn't take much for me to go along with Xander's opinion of Angel. I didn't even know him then." 

  
"See, this was my fault. Not your anger issues, but lying to everyone. It never works out and someone always gets hurt. I have learned this lesson more times than I care to remember." 

  
"Anyway, after that we still spent alot of time together. We seemed to connect even more after this was over and I began to think everything was going to work out. I was so happy when you started doing things my way and being more impulsive and reacting to things instead of planning them out. I felt closer to you than I'd felt to anyone in my life. I was so sure we had something special going. I began to think of things I had no business thinking of." 

  
I really had no idea where she was going with this and I need her to sit down because my neck was starting to hurt, so I helped her sit beside me on the bed, "I'm not sure what you mean by that?" 

  
She took a long pause then started looking around he room, anywhere but looking at me, "This is embarrassing. Okay. I hate feeling silly. It makes me feel insecure and then I get defensive and do stupid things." 

  
"Faith, your not making any sense. Please, just tell me. I don't think anything you feel is silly and you shouldn't either." 

  
"That's easier said than done B. Listen, when we were together almost non stop for that week or however long it lasted, I don't know why but I felt you were feeling the same way I was. Feeling like.." she stopped abruptly and then got up and walked away from me, "Well, this is dumb." 

  
I got up and quickly brought her back to the bed and sat her down beside me and tried to make her feel comfortable with me and that was not easy because I knew she wasn't used to opening up like this, "Faith, I know it's been a long time and so much has happened since the good times we had, but right now I want to trust you. I want you to be part of my life and I want to be part of yours. I know you need to get this out. And I think I do to. So please, don't assume how I will feel about what you say. You don't know. Don't always assume the worst. You might be wrong. So please, let's just get this all out and see where it takes us." 

  
She actually seemed to get choked up for a moment and there was something about Faith when she was vulnerable that made me want to hug her and hold her and I reached out and put my arms around her and I held her until she pulled away and smiled, "Thanks B. You always know how to make me feel better." 

  
"Well yes, it comes natural where your concerned. You can continue if your ready." 

  
"I have to do this so here goes." she took a very deep breath, exhaled and then looked right at me, "When we were together all that time. So close. Almost every minute of the day. We saved each other's ass so many times. I just felt like we had something special. Like, maybe, oh this is hard. The night we went dancing was the night I think about the most. It was the night everything went from being perfect to being over in a heartbeat." 

  
"I don't understand. I loved that night. I loved dancing with you. I think about that always. What made it so bad?" 

  
"Oh come on B, Angel showing up and you leaving me in the middle of the floor to run to him? Does that ring a bell?" 

  
I didn't answer, I just looked at her and felt so bad for how that must have felt for her. 

  
"Well good, because before he came in I was in dreamland. Fairy tale world. I was being stupid. I was thinking...look, I honestly thought you felt the same about me. I did. I swear I could feel it coming from you. The way you looked at me. The way you held me when we danced. The way smiled at me. I felt all this to. And in that moment on that dance floor, holding your hand and feeling so close to you I started thinking that maybe you and I had a future. I didn't know what that would be, but I knew it's what I wanted. And for the first time in my life I thought about life after being a slayer. Or at least a life away from being a slayer and I wanted that life to be with you." 

  
"OMG Faith. Why didn't you say something? Why? It would have changed so much." 

  
Faith seemed a bit taken back at me saying this to her, "Me? Why didn't you say something? Your the one who was big on sharing. Well, except for Angel being alive again." 

  
"Wait a minute. I'm sorry about Angel, but I was feeling very confused myself. I had no idea what was going on between us and maybe I did hide it or wanted a way out of it. Maybe I did use Angel as a way to escape dealing with my feelings for you and god, I'm sorry. I am. I didn't do this on purpose. Not then. I was not trying to shut you out. I just..." I was feeling so many things right then and had so much guilt and remorse and so many questions about what have been went through my mind. 

  
"You just what?" she asked almost pleading for my answer. 

  
"Okay, okay, I just didn't know how you felt about us. If there was an us. You never told me. I knew things were good but I could never read you. Never. I'd ask if you were sad and you'd say no. I'd ask if you wanted to talk and you'd say no. You were anything but an open book Faith." 

  
"Fine, your right. But why didn't you try harder? I wanted you so bad to get me to open up. I wanted to tell you what I felt. I did. I just couldn't do it alone." 

  
"What did you feel? Really? Please, just tell me now." I begged as I looked into beautiful sad eyes. 

  
"I was in love with you B. Madly in love with you. Are you happy now? I said it." she snapped the last two sentences at me and I could tell she was not happy right now, but to hear her say this warmed my heart so much. I just wondered how things would have been different had I known this. Or had I told her how I felt all those years ago. 

  
"Yes, I am happy. I'm happy because I found out you loved me. That means so much to me. Don't you know that? It does. It means everything. Even now. Long afterwards. I feel so bad that I didn't deal with all this better, but I wasn't ready for any of this then. I wasn't. But the fact is I loved you to. Okay. So much. I thought of nothing else but you. I just couldn't deal with it. What I do know is that so much of what happened I contributed to. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I made you make those choices, but I know what being loved can do to a person. I should have told you this. I know it would have changed everything." 

  
"Yes B you should've have. I needed it so bad. I was a different person then to. I was very insecure and I wanted your friendship, love and support so much and when I felt that was gone I just lost it. I felt that the only good thing in my life was over and from that moment on I just didn't care about anything but causing pain. I wanted you to feel how I did. God, I'm sorry for that. I will always regret how I handled this. To the day I die." she broke down then and I saw her cry for the first time and I wanted to make it all go away so I just held her until she was ready to talk. 

  
"Okay, okay. God, I'm done balling like a baby. I'm sorry." she said as she turned her head to wipe the tears away. 

  
"Faith, there is nothing wrong with crying," I helped wipe her tears from her soft pretty face, "I'm happy you told me about all this. It's nice to know how you felt after all this time. I feel horrible about not telling you how I felt. In spite of how awful things turned out back then I have this feeling that we weren't meant to be together back then. We weren't ready for it. Neither of us. I think now we have a chance to make this work. And that's all I want to think about right now." 

  
"That's all I want B. To be with you. I know we will make this work. I can feel it." she had this look of optimism on her face mixed with pure joy and it was just something to see. 

I felt like we'd just had this huge break through and that now we could really start over and deal with the present and that was such a relief, "I couldn't agree more Faith. Now, where were we?" 

  
She put her hands around my waist, pulled me close and gave me the sweetest, softest and most loving kiss in the world and then led me over to the bed and I couldn't wait to make love to her. 

  
The End  


  



End file.
